Captain Clambo's last day

Sad day today. It was Captain Clambo's last day. But, true to form, it was a constant stream of assinine decisions executed poorly. All started with the lunch that was suggested by the Sarge. See the Sarge is the one that actually fired Captain Clambo at the behest of his superiors. But since the Sarge reports to the CEO, Slammer, it seems that Slammer wanted him gone. Or so the Sarge says. Until you do a little digging and find out that the Sarge has been spoon feeding Slammer stories of the IS deparments shortcomings. You see the Sarge once worked for Coyote. And they apparently had an IS department. And the Sarge understood this IS department. He also had very cozy relationships with Coyote's vendors. The vendors succesfully convinced the Sarge that the use of their products is the ONLY way to run an IT shop. Since our shop doesn't match the Sarge's only known configuration, we need to change. Oh yeah, and we need an army of consultants to help us acheive this. More on that later.

So here we go to the LUNCH. Revservations for 9. There a 10 in our group. Apparently the Sarge has already subtracted CC (Cap't Clambo) from the total. Thanks dude. Anyway, all of us show up at predetermined lunch location except for the Sarge. The betting starts as to if the Sarge will even show up. Followed by a round of Sarge bashing. Quite prophectic considering the evenings festivities. More on that later. So just when the fun starts, Sarge shows up. The edge is lost. Pedestrian conversation. Awaiting the toast from the Sarge thanking him for all of his years of hard work. Because he would apprecitate that. But it never comes. Thank god.
Lunch ends without incident.

Clocks ticking. Only a few minutes until CC's farewell drinking bash. YEAH! What? The Sarge wants to see us up front. Oh Shit. What could this be? Delayed regrets? No. We need to change every fucking password that CC knew, might have known, or even guessed. Fuck. This is going to cut into drinking time. Is there a plan? No. Sarge says, "We gotta get this done." Thanks. Dickhead.

So we run around changing passwords figuring out how to get out of it until the weekend. Fuck this. Time to drink. "Hey Sarge, I'm done I'm going home." "Thanks. I appreciate you staying." Yeah thanks. Fuck you.

Get to the designated party spot. Things are in full swing. Rockin'! Let's drink. Very quickly it turns from goodbaye CC to bash on Sarge. Interdepartmental bash! Cool!! From ebonics at high level meetings to one on one stories, the hits just keep coming. Great night! Saw the Lowman's ass. It's not a party until somebody drops trou'. Later CC. We love ya!